And that brings me to another reason why introverts love alone time: They react differently to stimulation. In fact, as any introvert can tell you, sometimes those “rewards” aren’t just less tantalizing - they’re actually tiring and annoying. It’s like extroverts see big, juicy steaks everywhere, while introverts mostly see overcooked hamburgers. Compared to the more outgoing among us, we “quiet ones” are simply less motivated and energized by these same rewards. However, researchers believe that introverts are wired to respond differently to rewards than extroverts do. Of course, introverts care about things like money, relationships, and food, too.
When you get promoted at work or convince an attractive stranger to give you his or her phone number, you’re earning a reward. For adults, rewards are things like money, social status, social affiliation, and even sex and food.
No, I’m not talking about the gold foil stars you earned in grade school (although it could be argued that stickers are indeed a reward for kids). He explained that one of the reasons introverts love alone time has to do with how we respond to rewards. When writing my book, The Secret Lives of Introverts, I spoke with Colin DeYoung, a psychology professor at the University of Minnesota who had recently published a paper on introversion. Why do introverts love being alone? And why does socializing so easily exhaust our energy? Research has some interesting answers. Or, if it’s really bad, my brain turns into a slow-loading computer, and I feel like I can’t even think or make decisions. Sometimes I mentally spiral downward, becoming anxious and depressed. Every little annoyance becomes magnified, and I get frustrated with the people around me for no good reason. If you’re an introvert, is there anything better than time to yourself to relax and recharge?Īnd, like many introverts, when I don’t get healthy solitude, I feel stressed and tired. Often, when I find myself unexpectedly alone - like when my significant other has plans with his buddies - I feel giddy.
It also means, by definition, that I love spending time alone. As an introvert, I prefer books to parties and meaningful conversation to small talk.
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